


The Shadow Feels Like Safety

by Cerillen



Series: Chronicles of an Anxious Protector [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, He just wants to keep Thomas safe, Protective Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, The poor bean, Virgil tries really hard, and Thomas doesn't even realize because the others won't let him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-05-28 11:52:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15048362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerillen/pseuds/Cerillen
Summary: Sometimes, Thomas has nightmares.And, when they're especially bad, there's always someone there to comfort him afterwards.He just doesn't know who that someone is.





	1. How Thomas met Anxiety

When Thomas first met Anxiety, he didn’t actually know who it was he’d met until much later.

It had been a few months after Anxiety first manifested as a side.

The others, sans Patton who didn’t agree with what they were doing at all, had actively kept Thomas from finding out about the new addition and were trying their best to prevent the dark side from approaching their host himself.

Virgil didn’t entirely blame them for that though.

They were just trying to protect Thomas.

And, since Virgil was trying to do the same, he didn’t bother fighting against it.

They were probably right, after all.

Virgil was the manifestation of Thomas’ worst fears, doubts, and concerns.

It was probably for the best that he stay as far away from their host as possible.

At least, that’s what Virgil told himself.

Regardless of the reasons, Anxiety was kept away from Thomas and Thomas had no knowledge of Anxiety existing.

And, for a time, things stayed that way.

Until that one night a few months after he'd first manifested.

Virgil, as always, was wandering through the Mindscape to make sure that everything, and everyone, was safe and sound for the night.

So he was the only one awake when Thomas started having a, rather terrible, Natural Nightmare.

Now, nightmares weren’t a totally uncommon occurrence for Thomas.

Nor were they something to be too concerned about.

However,  **those**  nightmares were ‘Created Nightmares’.

Nightmares that Virgil carefully created and manipulated so that he could properly control Thomas’ fears without actually interacting with him in person.

Those nightmares usually ended with Thomas waking up the next morning feeling mildly upset but still perfectly functional.

‘Natural Nightmares’ though, were a completely different story.

They were natural manifestations of Thomas’ fears.

They happened spontaneously and without any input from the sides.

They couldn’t be controlled, but they could be destroyed.

That, of course, was part of Virgil’s job.

But he couldn’t always do that.

Nightmares always manifested as shadowy figures and monsters rising up from the trees at the edges of the Nightmare Plane’s main clearing.

They would rise from the shadow of the trees and make their way into the clearing, contaminating the place as they went.

If the dream was something unrealistic, like being attacked by vampires or being abducted by aliens, then the sky would lose its colors and stars while the moon turned red. The pond would be filled with bubbling black goo that moved around like it had a mind of its own. The willow tree’s branches would start moving as well, flailing about like whips, while the floating lights around it would turn red and start letting out a horrific wailing that echoed through the clearing. The grass on the ground would turn dark and grow taller. And the small flowers that once dotted the clearing would grow tall and shift into thorn bushes covered in bulbous black buds that opened to reveal terrifyingly massive teeth.

If the dream was something realistic, like being attacked on the street or losing a loved one, then the sky would disappear behind too many dark black clouds. The pond would grow murky and be filled with trash and sometimes, during particularly bad dreams, what appeared to be bodies. The willow trees branches would wither and its trunk would grow gnarled and warped, while the floating lights would disappear completely. The grass on the ground would become dried and yellow. And the small flowers that once dotted the clearing would simply wither away.

During Created Nightmares, Virgil summoned the shadows himself and was able to control them.

This meant that he decided how much of the Nightmare Plane they corrupted at any given time and, in turn, how much the nightmare effected Thomas.

However, when Natural Nightmares occurred, Virgil had no control over the shadows and how much they corrupted.

The only thing he could do to stop them was to destroy them and that wasn’t always the best course of action.

Because the Natural Nightmares happened for a reason.

The shadows were still summoned, just not by Virgil.

No, during Natural Nightmares, the shadows were summoned by Thomas himself.

All of the sides could control Thomas’ mind to an extent but they didn’t have **complete** control over him.

His thoughts were still his own.

The sides really just influenced them.

And that meant that, sometimes, Thomas would create his own dreams and nightmares without the influence of Roman or Virgil.

Which was fine for Roman since that just meant the dreams usually turned out a little crazier than usual.

But it could become a disaster for Virgil.

Because Thomas would have Natural Nightmares for a reason.

It meant that he was **so**  scared of something that he didn’t need Virgil’s input to become even more terrified by it.

That was fine, to an extent.

But if the fear was left alone for too long, it could alter Thomas’ mind completely and leave him unable to function when it came to that fear.

And if the fear was dismissed too early, then it could leave Thomas unable to properly process the fear until it he was being faced with it directly.

Neither situations were good or preferable in any way, so Virgil had to make sure Thomas experienced the Natural Nightmares he summoned just enough to settle the fear within him without making it effect him too much.

And that is exactly what he did.

Most of the time.

However, Virgil was still not entirely used to handling Natural Nightmares yet.

So, when he noticed Thomas having one that night, he immediately sank into the Nightmare Plane to monitor the nightmare.

But ended up misjudging the strength of the shadows.

It happened sometimes.

The shadows would be particularly strong and the nightmare would progress faster and hit harder than normal.

It took a lot of experience and failures for Virgil to eventually learn how to read the shadows enough to know exactly what he was dealing with each time.

One such failure occurred that night.

He’d waited for a while, watching the shadows corrupt the landscape.

It was a realistic nightmare.

Something to do with Thomas’ family and dying, from what he could sense of his hosts fears.

That was fine.

It was natural to fear losing a family member.

Having a nightmare about that was fine.

But it was not fine to let that fear control you completely.

Which is what would have happened to Thomas had Virgil not suddenly realized that some of the shadows were moving alarmingly faster than usual and heading straight toward the house.

That was not good.

Not at all.

If a shadow reached the house they could potentially reach the Mindscape and corrupt the rest of Thomas’ mind.

And one of them was darting straight towards the front door.

Virgil had made a terrible mistake.

He reacted quickly but the damage was already done.

The house, where the shadow had barely reached it before Virgil destroyed it, was gray and falling apart.

The other shadows only seemed to find encouragement in the one’s success and darted forward as well.

Virgil was swiftly overwhelmed.

But still, he fought for all he was worth.

The house grew more and more corrupted on the outside, but no shadows managed to enter the building.

And, eventually, Virgil stood in the corrupted clearing by himself.

He gasped for breath, his body dirty and aching from exhaustion and injury.

He fell to his knees in the dead grass and tried to calm the rapid beating of his heart.

If he didn’t calm down it would effect Thomas.

The shadows were finally gone now and Virgil was too tired to keep his own emotions detached from his host.

He had to calm down his own fears or else Thomas would start to experience them too.

It took some time but, eventually, Virgil was able to breathe normally and his heart beat slowed to its usual rhythm.

His wounds still hurt but they had at least healed enough to stop any bleeding.

His shirt was in tatters and so were his jeans and he really wanted to just lie down and go to sleep.

But he could feel Thomas’ distress in the back of his mind like an ache he couldn’t quite place.

And it was only getting worse and he was tired and in pain and he’d already failed Thomas once that night he couldn’t do it again.

So he did the only thing he could do in this situation.

He sunk out of the Nightmare Plane and out into the real world.

He’d appeared in Thomas’ bedroom.

He’d never been in there before.

He’d never even manifested in the real world until now, but that wasn’t important right then.

All he could focus on was the sound of quiet sobs and the small shaking figure on the bed.

Virgil moved on instinct at that point.

Thomas himself also ended up reacting out of instinct that night.

He’d just woken up crying after having an absolutely horrible nightmare about a murderer doing terrible things to his family.

Understandably, he was not in a very good state right then.

So, when he felt one of the sides pop up into the room, he didn’t bother questioning who it was.

And when the side approached him and got close enough to give off the strange sort of unique aura they all emanated naturally, Thomas found himself sobbing even harder and reaching out.

Strong but spindly arms enveloped him and he was pulled against a thin but firm chest.

The side was warm and smelled like flowers and rain and warmth and dust and metal and darkness.

And they felt like safety.

So Thomas cried against the side embracing him and listened to the soft and gravelly voice rumbling beside his ear.

The voice, one he had never heard before then, gave caring reassurances.

Reminding him that he was safe, that his family was fine, that nothing bad was happening to him, and that the side was there and going to keep him safe.

Gentle fingers carded through his sleep mussed hair and a warm hand rubbed reassuring circles into his back.

He was practically laying on top of the side and eventually, when the mysterious side leaned back against the headboard without loosing his grip, he actually was.

But the side didn’t seem to mind as they pulled up the blankets to cover them both, and Thomas wasn’t even able to care right then as he only burrowed further into the one that radiated safety.

Some time passed as Thomas remained glued to the side’s chest while the side continued to comfort him with caring words and gentle touches.

And, eventually, the host fell asleep.

And Virgil, exhausted and in pain and still just working on pure instinct and dregs of protective adrenaline, couldn’t resist the temptation and fell asleep too.

The next morning, Thomas woke up feeling relaxed and warm and safe in a way he’d never actually woken up feeling before.

It was nice until his mind finally started to wake up properly.

Then, as the memories of the night before trickled in to remind him what the reason for him feeling this way was, he felt himself be carefully moved away from the warm presence he’d been clinging to and heard the sound of someone shuffling off of the bed and away from it before the sense of safety that had enveloped him simply **popped** out of existence.

His eyes opened quickly after that and he looked around the room frantically for a moment.

There was no one there.

He frowned as he sat up in his bed, the smell and warmth from the side already starting to fade away with their lack of presence.

This was confusing…

He had no idea what side that had been.

It definitely hadn’t been one of the three he always saw.

None of them gave off an aura of pure safety like that.

None of them smelled the way the mystery side did.

And none of them had a deep or gravelly voice either.

So who was it?

It had to be another side.

But Thomas had never met anyone besides Logan, Roman, and Patton before.

And they’d never said anything about there being another side.

Thomas’ frown only grew as he looked back at his bed, where the unknown side had only just been laying.

There was something strange going on.

He didn’t know what it was, exactly.

But he was going to figure it out.


	2. How Anxiety(almost)Met Thomas

If you were to ask Thomas if he loved the sides, he would immediately say yes.

And that would be the truth.

If you were to ask Thomas if he trusted the sides, he would hesitantly say yes.

And that wouldn't be entirely true.

It had been almost a full year since the mysterious side had entered his room for the first time.

In that time, Thomas had tried all he could think of to figure out who the side was.

He'd questioned the others, multiple times and with no solid results.

He'd tried searching the Mindscape, though the others had kept him from exploring freely every time.

He'd asked other Manifesters for advice, none of which had helped.

He'd even tried to trap the side in his bedroom after nightmares!

Which had only resulted in him refusing to come out for a while until Thomas actually had a terrible nightmare about the side leaving him forever and woke up to the other already holding him and frantically warbling out apologies.

And now, Thomas was really starting to think that he'd **never** get to meet the side properly.

He lamented this fact as he cuddled a little further into his current object of focus.

The anonymous side, whom he'd started calling Knight in his head after the third time he'd shown up, let out a gentle rumble as he wrapped his arms a little more firmly around his freshly wakened host.

For a moment, all was quiet.

But then, Thomas finally couldn't help himself.

"Stay this time?"

This wasn't the first time Thomas had asked this of the side.

And he already knew how the other would respond.

Knight let out a warbled sound similar to a sigh.

Then a hand came up and carded gently through Thomas' hair.

_**"Keep your eyes closed."** _

The words were gentle but commanding, and Thomas had no choice but to obey them.

He didn't really mind that Knight had this ability to make him do things.

He trusted the other not to misuse it and already knew that it was only really used in emergencies.

Or when the side was trying to leave without letting Thomas see him.

Which is really the only reason why he disliked it.

Thomas didn't bother fighting against the other as he was carefully maneuvered off of the warm body he'd been laying on and back onto the bed.

A gentle wisp of contact caressed his forehead and the warm hand in his hair carded through it one last time, before the protective presence disappeared.

And Thomas opened his eyes to an empty bedroom.

He sighed heavily and brought his hands up to rub at his eyes.

He loved having Knight around.

He really did.

Even if it was just for a little while.

The other made him feel safer than anything and seemed to care for him so much it made Thomas' heart hurt.

But it always felt terrible when he left.

Like every time could be the last.

After all, Thomas had no promise that he would return.

Knight always said he'd keep him safe, but that didn't mean he'd stay by his side.

It hurt to think like that.

But he couldn't really help having these thoughts sometimes.

With a final, less heavy sigh, Thomas got out of his bed with a stretch.

He couldn't sit and brood for too long today.

The other sides had told him yesterday that there was something important they wanted to do with him this morning.

He didn't know what the important thing was, but Patton had been practically bouncing with excitement about it, so it was probably something good.

Hopefully.

It was kind of hard to tell with Patton sometimes.

The moral side could get excited about the strangest of things.

Like that one time when he'd spent an entire week with some tiny flowers braided into his hair and hadn't been able to stop smiling the entire time.

Thomas snorted a little at the memory before giving one final big stretch and going about his usual morning routine.

* * *

Virgil sighed as he returned to the Nightmare Plane.

He reached up a hand and pushed his hair back as he looked up at the swirling night sky of his home.

_'Stay this time?'_

His eyes prickled and he had to resist the urge to growl at nothing.

He hated when Thomas asked him that.

The host always sounded so sad and hopeful when he did, even though Virgil **always** gave the same response.

Virgil's hand shook beside him, shadows starting to leak out around him in his loss of control.

Then he gasped and forced himself to even his breathing as the gentle touch of a willow branch rubbed against his cheek.

He laughed a little as his breathing returned to its usual rhythm.

"Sorry..."

The lights floating within the tree's canopy warbled at him and a few more branches joined the one rubbing his cheek to wrap lovingly around him.

He laughed some more and relaxed into the contact, a single branch carefully wiping away the half formed tears from his eyes.

He stayed there for a time, allowing himself a moment of quiet before the storm he knew would come.

* * *

"Thomas!"

Patton's excited shout was swiftly followed by Thomas' own laughter as the fatherly side wrapped the host up in a bear hug.

"Good Morning, Thomas."

Logan gave a nod at him from over Patton's shoulder and Thomas gave one back when the excited side finally released him.

"Morning, Logan."

"I hope you're not feeling too down from last night's nightmare. We tried our best to keep it from happening. But, alas, there was nothing we could do."

Roman's suitably dramatic gestures made Thomas smile, as always, and the host shook his head.

"It's fine, Roman. Nightmares happen sometimes. And I'm actually feeling pretty great today, so you don't have to worry about that."

A sharp clap from Logan startled everyone in the room into looking at him.

His lips twitched a little but he otherwise remained straight-faced.

"Excellent. It's better for you to be in a good mood when we start this discussion. So, shall we begin?"

Roman sighed, Patton hopped a little in place, Logan remained as stoic as always, and Thomas looked at the three with some confusion.

"...okay? Sure, right. Cool. So, what exactly was it you guys wanted to tell me about today?"

For a moment, the three sides just looked at each other.

Logan and Roman seemed reluctant to continue, despite Logan being the one to initiate the talk in the first place.

Patton had no such reservations and quickly lost his patience.

"You were right!"

Thomas looked at him with a blink and ignored Logan's long suffering sigh and Roman's muffled snort.

"What?"

Patton bounced a couple more times, grinning madly all the while.

"There's another side!"

And, suddenly, Thomas couldn't breathe.

"what?"

Patton's grin softened at that.

He reached out a hand and placed it gently on Thomas' shoulder.

"I'm not proud to admit this, Kiddo. But, we lied when we said we were the only one's before."

Of course they did.

Thomas knew that already.

He'd known that from the beginning.

"I know it's not good to lie, but Logan and Roman really thought it was a good idea to keep quiet about this."

Why? 

Why would they keep this from him?

What possible reason could they have?

"I didn't really agree with them myself..."

Then why didn't he say anything?

"But that's not important right now."

It should be. 

It should've been important from the start.

It would've saved Thomas a whole lot of heartbreak if it had been.

"Right now, the important thing is the other side we're finally gonna introduce to you!"

Oh.

Yes, that...

That was **very** important.

Patton was back to bouncing again and the other two sides stood nearby, looking far more uncomfortable now than they had been before.

For good reason.

Thomas took a deep breathe, feeling a little overwhelmed but more than ready to finally, **finally** , meet his Knight face to face.

And it **had** to be him.

Whoever this side was, it had to be Knight.

If it wasn't...

Well, they'd cross that bridge when they got to it.

"Okay!"

Patton clapped, less sharply than Logan, and hopped in place with a giggle of excitement.

"I'm gonna go ahead and summon him for you, alright?"

Thomas took another, slightly unsteady, breathe and nodded.

Then Patton took a breathe of his own and threw his hands into the air with a shout.

"Anxiety!"

And nothing happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's interested. I was thinking of making another little part to the Chronicles of an Anxious Protector series that has all of the times Thomas tried to figure out who Knight was and certain moments relating to that.  
> Like Thomas asking the others about him.  
> Thomas trying to explore the Mindscape.  
> Thomas meeting other Manifesters.  
> Thomas' attempts at trapping him.  
> And the story of the tiny flowers braided into Patton's hair.  
> I don't know when/if I'll do this, but feel free to tell me if you'd like to read about any of that.  
> I'm a simple person with simple needs who's easily swayed by encouragement so I'll definitely do it if you tell me you want that.


	3. How Thomas(again, almost)Met Anxiety

Things were always quiet in the Nightmare Plane.

Not silent.

Just quiet.

The only times when this wasn’t true was when Virgil happened to be working.

Things could get loud then, but they never stayed that way for long.

So, most of the time, things were calm and quiet.

Which made it  **very**  easy to fall asleep there.

Especially when you were already tired from staying awake and worrying for the past forty eight hours.

* * *

 

Patton blinked.

So did Thomas.

Roman raised an eyebrow. 

And Logan cleared his throat.

“Anxiety?”

Again, there was nothing.

Patton’s arms fell and he frowned in concern.

Roman huffed.

“I can’t believe this.”

Logan sighed.

“Roman…”

The creative side took a step forward and raised an arm.

“Anxiety!”

He pulled on the air.

But still, nothing happened.

Thomas looked at all of them as Roman groaned in frustration, Logan held his chin in thought, and Patton stared at the open space in front of them with a frown.

Then Thomas took a slightly shaky breath and spoke.

“Um, Anxiety?”

He felt something.

The usual sort of gentle nudge that came from summoning a Side.

But then the nudge turned into a tug and Thomas was suddenly sinking through the floor.

“THOMAS!”

Three voices shouted at once and three pairs of hands quickly pulled him back up by his shoulders.

There was a strangely hollow feeling of something breaking away in his chest and the tugging stopped.

The others all looked at him in concern and he gave out an uncertain little laugh.

“Sorry, guys. I kind of forgot that summoning wasn’t a one way street.”

Roman scowled at his words and Logan frowned.

Patton looked slightly distraught.

“I can’t  **believe**  him! How  **dare**  he try to reverse your summons like that! Who does that… **Villain**  think he is?!”

Everyone jumped at the creative side’s shout and Patton turned angrily toward him.

“Roman!”

“No! Patton!”

Thomas took a step back in surprise.

He’d never seen Roman so angry before.

“I don’t care how  **‘nice’**  and  **‘polite’**  we’re supposed to be to him! That is what he  **is** , Patton!”

“No, he isn’t!”

He’d never seen Patton so angry either.

“Then what else could he be?! He  **manipulates Thomas’**   **fear!**  He  **makes**  him afraid!  **He’s** the reason for all of Thomas’ nightmares! He’s a  **monster**  and we  **never**  should have trusted him!”

Patton wasn’t very strong.

He had no reason to be.

But he still managed to send Roman back a couple steps when he pushed him.

Everyone froze.

Even Roman did nothing but stare at the side in front him.

And Patton glared at him with tear filled eyes, his chest heaving and his hands coming down to clench into fists at his sides.

“YOU  **DON’T**  GET TO SAY THAT ABOUT HIM! I WON’T **LET YOU**  SAY THAT ABOUT HIM! HE DESERVES **BETTER**  THAN THAT! HE DESERVES BETTER THAN  **YOU!** ”

The moral side stopped to take a few shuddering breaths before taking a step towards him.

Roman took one back in response.

“HE  **DOESN’T DESERVE**  HARSH WORDS FROM SOMEONE WHO’S TOO  **STUPID**  TO KNOW WHAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT!”

It was moments like these when everyone was reminded that Patton represented more than just Thomas’  **positive**  emotions.

“Pat?”

Patton looked over to Thomas quickly before taking a step back from Roman with a sniff.

“Sorry, Thomas.”

He rubbed at the tears in his eyes and turned away from them all.

“I think something might have happened to Anxiety while he was waiting for us to summon him.”

“Is he okay?”

The question left Thomas’ lips instantly and Patton turned back to him in surprise.

Then he smiled.

“Yeah, Anxiety’s pretty strong, so I’m sure he’s fine. He probably just had to deal with something really quick. So I’m just gonna go and get him in person, okay?”

And Thomas hesitantly nodded.

“Okay.”

And Patton smiled a little brighter and sank back into the Mindscape.

* * *

 

He’d fallen asleep.

It wasn’t his fault, not really.

He’d just been so **tired** , and gotten so **comfortable**  while waiting for his summons, that he hadn’t been able to resist when sleep took him.

Even when the summons’ finally came, he was still too tired to react to them.

Except for the last one.

Thomas had been calling to him.

But his body was too tired to go to him.

So he did the next best thing.

He tried to bring Thomas to himself.

But then the connection was severed and Virgil’s dozing brain decided that his host had probably just changed his mind and decided that he wasn’t needed in that moment after all.

So he’d continued to sleep.

Until a soft voice started to speak to him.

“Anxiety. Hey, Anxiety. Wake up, Kiddo. You gotta get up to meet Thomas today, remember?”

**_“What…”_ **

Most people would find his sleepily distorted voice scary and intimidating, or at least a little unsettling.

But Patton just giggled a little at the sound and started gently rubbing one of his shoulders.

“You’re gonna be introduced to Thomas today, Kiddo. We agreed to that a couple days ago. But you can’t meet him if your asleep, so you gotta get up now.”

The tired side warbled a little and reached a hand up to rub sleepily at an eye.

Patton just giggled some more and waited patiently for his friend to wake up.

It didn’t take long.

Virgil had always been fast to wake up.

He had to be in order to react properly should something happen to Thomas while he was sleeping.

Still, he was more tired than usual, so it took a minute or two.

Eventually he sat up in the cushioned alcove at the willow tree’s base and titled his head at his visitor.

“Patton? What are you doing here?”

The other side smiled and giggled again, making Virgil squint his eyes at him in confusion.

Then the moral side calmed and titled his own head to the side, his smile a little more playful than before.

“You weren’t awake when I summoned you.”

Virgil squinted harder.

“You’re meeting Thomas today, remember?”

His eyes widened and his face paled a little.

“Shit.”

“Language.”

“Crap.”

Patton snorted and stood, the anxious side in front of him frantically doing the same as he started to tug at his oversized hoodie sleeves.

Then he held out his hand and Anxiety froze.

Virgil looked up at him with big, fearful, eyes.

And Morality smiled softly.

“It’ll be okay. I promise.”

Virgil’s lips quivered before his jaw clenched.

Then he smiled crookedly back.

“Yeah. Okay.”

And gently placed his hand in the other’s.

“I trust you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *laughs maniacally*  
> AND YOU THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO END WITH THE THIRD CHAPTER!  
> WELL, SO DID I!  
> SO LOOK WHO'S WRONG NOW!  
> *laughter slowly devolves into sobs*  
> I DIDN'T EVEN MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN!


	4. How Anxiety(finally)Met Thomas

“I’m disappointed in you, Roman.”

Roman groaned.

“ **Shut**  your face hole, Logan. The  **only**  reason why you aren’t  **agreeing**  with me is because **Anxiety**  started being  **nice**  to you.”

Logan scowled.

“He’s nice to you too, Roman. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you spending time with him in the common area.”

Thomas watched with some confusion as Roman immediately turned red and started spluttering.

Then the creative side stomped a foot and pointed his finger at the other.

“ **I**  SAW YOU  **PET**  HIS HAIR!”

And Thomas’ confusion quickly turned to shock as he watched Logan turn just as red as Roman.

But, of course, the logical side remained as composed as he could, despite his obvious embarrassment.

He cleared his throat and readjusted his glasses and tie once or twice before responding to the other’s accusation.

“I will admit that I may have done so during one of our morning get-togethers.”

He cleared his throat once more and straightened as the stern expression returned to his face.

“But that is not relevant at this particular moment in time. Roman, Anxiety is  **not** our enemy. Nor is he some kind of terrible villain we must fight to protect Thomas. You should know this by now.”

“I-”

Roman flinched a little under the other side’s harsh gaze and glanced quickly at Thomas before looking guiltily away.

“I  **know**  that…”

“Then why did you speak about him like that?”

“I just-”

“And also, why did you argue with Patton? You should know better than to do that. He cares about Anxiety so-”

“I  **KNOW** THAT!”

Thomas flinched a little at Roman’s angry tone and Roman seemed to curl a little into himself in response.

“I just get  **upset**  with him sometimes. He’s always so  **dark**  and  **gloomy**  and  **weird**  and  **mysterious**  and it’s so… **upsetting**!  **Why**  can’t he just be like the  **rest** of us?! Why does he have to be so  **different**?! AND  **WHY**  IS HE SO  **NICE**?! I DON’T UNDERSTAND! IF HE’S  **SUPPOSED**  TO BE THE BAD GUY, LIKE HE  **SEEMS**  TO BE, THEN HE SHOULD BE  **MEAN**! HE SHOULD BE  **EVIL**!”

“But he’s not.”

Logan’s calm words quickly take the wind out of Roman’s angry sails and the creative side deflates.

“He’s not…”

Then Roman sighs and reaches a hand up to tug gently at his hair before brushing through it with his fingers.

“He’s  **nice**  and  **hardworking**  and  **thoughtful**  and…a lot of good things. He’s a good person. But he always  **acts**  like the villain. Like that’s just…his  **job**.”

Logan sighed, looking a little tired as he took his glasses off for a moment to rub at the bridge of his nose.

“And it may very well be his job.”

His tired expression soured a little and he sent a sad look towards the spot Patton had once stood in.

“Or it may be because of us.”

Roman flinched and Thomas suddenly had a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Um…”

Both sides stiffened at his voice.

Roman sent a quick guilty glance his way before looking down at his shoes, while Logan seemed to be readying himself for Thomas’ response.

“What exactly-”

“I FOUND HIM!”

Thomas almost fell over from how violently he jumped at the sudden shout three feet away from him.

Roman actually screamed and Logan gasped so hard he started to choke.

“Oh my goodness! Logan! Are you okay?!”

Patton’s hands flapped up in distress before he reached out to the side currently struggling to breathe.

“Nice job,  **Mortality**. Maybe you shouldn’t just straight up  **scream**  next time you appear out of nowhere like that.”

Thomas twitched, but nobody else seemed to notice, as their attentions were on Patton and Logan.

“Nice one! And, yeah, you’re right. Sorry, Anxiety. And you too, Logan. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“It’s fine, Patton. Although, I must agree with Anxiety. Please do try not to appear so violently next time.”

“Right, I’ll do my best.”

Roman scoffed and rolled his eyes, a hand coming up to rest on his hip as he jerked a thumb in the direction of the new arrival.

“It wouldn’t have been that big of a  **deal**  if  **he**  hadn’t brought you here. He always just  **appears**  instead of sinking into places. It’s ridiculous.”

Violet eyes rolled and Thomas felt his entire body relax at the familiar voice he’d only heard once before.

“It’s not  **my**  fault he shouts every time he enters a room. And I hate that sinking thing you guys do. It’s weird and uncomfortable.”

“ **How**  is it  **weird**?!”

“It just is.”

A surprised laugh halted the conversation and all of the sides turned their attentions to their giggling host.

The new side suddenly looked both scared and a little surprised as he looked at him.

And Thomas calmed himself as quickly as he could before taking a step closer to him.

Anxiety twitched, but otherwise remained still.

His gaze hardened to a more calloused look than before and Thomas probably would have felt a little intimidated by it if he wasn’t as confident about who this new side actually was.

“Hello.”

Anxiety blinked at him and stared in silence for a moment.

It reminded Thomas, weirdly, of a cat.

The thought made him smile and Anxiety scowled a little in response.

“Hey.”

Thomas smile only widened at the short response and the other’s scowl only grew.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. You’re Anxiety, right?”

Anxiety practically sneered at him and tilted his head a little, making his long bangs cover his eyes more.

“Yeah, I am. I represent all of your worst fears and worries. I even create all of your nightmares. Whaddaya think about that, Sanders?”

And that should have made Thomas decide that Anxiety couldn’t be Knight.

That response should have made him take a step back and decide that Roman had actually been right and Anxiety really  **was**  a villain.

But Thomas knew better.

He could see it, in the other’s eyes.

It was just barely visible behind the mocking disdain on Anxiety’s face.

A look of fear and worry.

A look of uncertainty.

And Thomas suddenly understood why Knight had never wanted to meet properly.

So he smiled, large and genuine and barely keeping his tears at bay, and continued to smile, even when Anxiety twitched a little in surprise.

“I think I should thank you for taking care of me all of this time! It must be pretty hard work to keep my fears and worries in check. I’ve got a lot of them, after all.”

And Thomas sheepishly laughed a little while Anxiety’s expression seemed to become blank with shock.

Then he looked right into Anxiety’s sharp violet eyes and smiled kindly at the fear he saw there.

“It really  **is**  nice to finally meet you, Anxiety.”

He reached out a hand and the other actually flinched.

Thomas kept smiling.

“I hope you’ll continue to take care of me.”

The fear was still there.

But it seemed to settle a little as a pale hand, partially hidden by a hoodie sleeve, reached out and took the one being offered to him.

With a gentle shake, Anxiety scoffed and rolled his eyes again.

“Right, yeah, whatever. Nice to meet you to, I guess. At least now I can actually tell you to stop when you’re about to do something stupid.

And Thomas laughed.

He laughed at Anxiety’s careless words.

He laughed at the familiar gentleness of his Knight’s hand.

He laughed at his own acceptance of the situation he was now in.

And tried his best to keep his laughter from changing into sobs.

Because he’d finally found his Knight.

And that was worth all of the pain he felt at knowing that Anxiety was scared of him.

It was  **all**  worth it.

Even if a small part of him insisted that it wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally finished!  
> Rejoice!  
> Thomas and Anxiety have finally met!  
> Woot!  
> And I somehow made it kind of sad!  
> *tosses up some confetti*  
> Yay!


End file.
